


The Cake

by TaraInNotRed



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: But really so much fluff, Fluff, Sort of? - Freeform, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-17
Updated: 2015-07-17
Packaged: 2018-04-09 18:35:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4359863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraInNotRed/pseuds/TaraInNotRed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Red's and Blue's make a cake. It goes about as well as expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Cake

**Author's Note:**

  * In response to a prompt by [Toadflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toadflame/pseuds/Toadflame) in the [RvB_Fic_War](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/RvB_Fic_War) collection. 



> **Prompt:**
> 
> Nothing like months of fighting together to bring a team together. You're working so well, you're like a well-oiled machine!
> 
> What? Don't look at me like that - I was here too! For part of it. Kind of. Listen, I am the commanding officer here...
> 
> **Prompt:** Write a fic where some unlikely teammates come together...in any way.

“This is ridiculous,” Grif said exasperatedly, flour covering his dark skin.

“What are you talking about? This is a great idea!” Donut replied enthusiastically, wildly waving around a whisk, splattering batter everywhere.

“This is never gonna turn out right,” Simmons said, looking around at the messy kitchen and wondering how any of this was going to turn out edible.

“I just don’t see why we’re going through so much trouble for a dirty blue,” Sarge grouched from his place in the corner.

“I hate to agree with the lovesick nerds, but this really is never going to work,” Tucker commented, wiping the eggs off of his hands, “Besides, no one really likes carrot cake anyways.”

“I told you, Tucker, this is his favorite kind of cake,” Carolina answered him, her arms working hard as she mixed up frosting.

The reds and blues, minus Wash and Caboose, were all standing around in a messy, flour and batter covered kitchen. It was Wash’s birthday, and they had decided to make him a cake. Caboose was in charge of keeping him out of the kitchen, and the rest needed to make the cake. The only problem being, none of them really knew how to bake.

“You’re mixing the batter too hard, Donut,” Church said from where his holographic form hovered above Carolina’s shoulder, “It’s gonna turn out too dense if you mix it like that.”

“Please, Church, don’t you think a human knows how to bake better than a computer,” Donut said, continuing to beat the cake batter at an insane speed.

“He’s right, you’ve got to get, like, air and shit in the batter,” Tucker told Donut, “Besides, if you keep mixing it like that, all the batter’s gonna come out.”

“Here, let me do it!” Sarge said, trying to take the bowl from Donut.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea, Sarge,” came Simmons’ voice, for once not agreeing with his commanding officer, “You might poison the batter.”

“Yeah, then the rest of us could get sick!” Grif said indignantly, “Especially me!”

“All the better!” Sarge replied enthusiastically, earning a groan from Grif.

“Keep it down, you guys,” Carolina said after finishing the frosting, “Or he’s gonna hear us.”

“Yeah, I’d like to see you all talk your way out of that one,” Church responded with a laugh, blinking out and back in as Tucker threw an empty eggshell at him.

“There, all done!” Donut declared once he deemed the batter ready. Tucker brought up the pans, and Donut poured in the batter, while Grif and Simmons kept Sarge from putting anything in it. Then Carolina took the pans and put them in the oven.

Forty minutes later, the cake was done, and after ten minutes it was time to frost.

“Grif! Stop trying to eat all the frosting!” Simmons yelled at the heavyset man.

“But it’s so good,” Grif whined out in response.

It took the combined efforts of Tucker, Sarge and Simmons to keep him away from the cake while Carolina and Donut frosted it. For the finishing touch, Carolina wrote ‘Happy Birthday, Wash’ in her surprisingly curly handwriting with some colored frosting.

They brought the cake out and set it on the table, pulling out candles to put on it. Just as they were sticking them in and lighting them they heard Washington and Caboose come into the room.

“And that, Caboose, is where babies come from,” Wash said with a sigh, walking into the dining room.

“Thank you very much for explaining it to me, Agent Washington,” Caboose responded cheerfully.

Wash turned and finally saw the cake, and his eyes widened in surprise.

“What is all of this?” He asked, honestly confused.

They all smiled at him and simultaneously said, “Happy Birthday, Wash!”

“Wow, you guys…. I really don’t know what to say,” Wash responded, honored that his friends, his family, went through so much trouble for him.

“You could, I don’t know, say thank you or something?” Church told him sarcastically.

“Thank you all, so much,” Wash told them, sincerity clear in his voice.

“Well,” Caboose began excitedly, “Are you gonna make a wish, Agent Washington?”

“Yeah, I am,” Wash told him with a smile, walking over to the cake. He took a deep breath, thought, ‘Please let these fucking idiots live’ and blew out the candles.

The cake was served, and everyone dug in.

“This is fucking terrible,” Wash said with a laugh after his first bite.

“I fucking told you so!” Church and Tucker shouted at Donut in unison, making the whole room burst into laughter and giggles.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow this nearly rotted my teeth to write. But I'm pretty proud of this cute little thing.
> 
> Hope ya'll enjoyed it. Leave a comment if you would like, I'd love to hear from you.
> 
> As always, please let me know it there are any tags I missed, I'd be more then happy to add them.


End file.
